


longing for something you can't name

by yaminogemu



Series: fem/feb but i do what i want [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Enemies to Lovers, F/F, Hokage Uzumaki Kushina, no beta we die like like minato (in this specific circumstance)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-14 21:08:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29302458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yaminogemu/pseuds/yaminogemu
Summary: “You, certainly, have never been a real threat."It was with no small sense of satisfaction that Kushina felt Konan’s pace stutter, pause. The music reached another crescendo, noise surrounding the pair and drowning out their surroundings."Is that so?" Konan pulled her closer, grip on her hand tightening subtly.alternately: i made my own femslash feburary prompt list because i didn't dig the one i saw. this fic is for the promptyearnorwaltz with your enemy.
Relationships: Konan/Uzumaki Kushina
Series: fem/feb but i do what i want [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2164353
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	longing for something you can't name

**Author's Note:**

> wildly au. one day my novel length context for this scenario exist outside of just my head.

Kushina's least favorite part of being Hokage was, by a landslide, events at the Daimyo's palace.

The Daimyo of the Land of Fire was, in general, an unpleasant man to be around. He knew nothing of the realities of shinobi life. He flaunted his wealth and ignorance around without consideration or care. He was weak, in both body and conviction, and grating to Kushina no matter the circumstance. However, there was something particularly intolerable about attending one of his celebrations.

Necessary, to maintain good relations with a major patron of Konoha shinobi, but utterly unbearable regardless.

For the occasion, (which Kushina honestly could not remember the specifics about beyond "someone's birthday or funeral or wedding, maybe,") the Water Daimyo had opened the majority of his estate to guests from across the Lands. The Fire Daimyo had insisted on her attendance; it was likely that simply her presence would secure some kind of political power for him. 

A grand display of wealth and extravagance surrounded them. People crowded together around pieces of art worth more than Kushina would make in a lifetime. Civilians and attendants mingled amongst themselves, drinking to the point of excess. A group of musicians were gathered on stage, undoubtedly talented with their respective instruments, playing a meandering and seemingly unending tune. At one point in the evening, the crowd cleared to form a rough, empty circle of space, enough for several pairs to begin dancing. Kushina spotted the Fire Daimyo himself among them, with a woman she recognized as one of the Earth Daimyo’s assistants.

Kushina stood alone, for the moment, only just escaping a tedious conversation with an ambassador from the Land of Iron (who had apparently endeared himself enough to the Water Daimyo’s court to earn an almost comically inflated sense of importance). She lingered by the edges of the main hall. She sipped her newly acquired glass of wine and contemplated going for another.

"May I interrupt?" A voice asked from just behind her.

Kushina knew that voice. She turned, recognizing instantly the woman she knew as Konan.

Kushina knew little, for certain, about Konan. At least, on paper. She knew the woman was from Ame, although how connected Konan was to what passed for authority in Ame was unknown. Kushina knew that she preferred to use her paper jutsu, a method Kushina had only ever seen Konan use. She wouldn't be surprised to learn it was an original invention Or, possibly, a previously unknown bloodline limit. 

She knew Konan was an enemy of Konoha.

Kushina was uncertain of her exact goals for the future beyond a concerning interest in the jinchuuriki, herself included. She had met Konan several times over the last half decade. Most of their encounters had ended with Kushina drawing the short stick and Konan getting more or less exactly what she wanted.

Kushina wasn't about to let that happen this time. No matter what Konan was here for, Kushina wouldn't allow her to get it.

"Of course." Kushina replied, smiling wide enough that her pointed incisors were on full display. 

Konan smiled politely in return and held out her gloved hand. Kushina took it in her own bare one and allowed herself to be led closer to the music.

"You look well." Konan murmured. The pair swayed close enough that only Kushina could hear her words. Although they remained in full view of the rest of the attendance, only fellow shinobi would bother to read their lips.

Kushina was unfortunately dressed for the occasion, stuffed into an appropriately extravagant kimono, all soft fabric, cascading colors, and embroidered trim. She had practiced for a week, pacing her office in the near-finished ensemble, yet her movements still felt unnatural. She was acutely aware that she restricted, limited in a way no kunoichi worth her title would be comfortable with. She knew other kunoichi were far more used to this part of their profession than her, but she couldn’t imagine how they got through it. God, Mikoto must have _hated_ this.

Nevertheless, her feet shuffled forward with strained grace, head held high as the pair settled in the center of the makeshift dance hall.

Konan was not spared from finery, Kushina noticed. She wore less traditional attire: full body shinobi blacks, pitch dark silk that clung appealingly. The sleeves parted around her upper arms, falling outwards into a cape with striking red embroidery. Collar, neck, arms, wrists, and ankles were all technically covered and protected, yet left little to the imagination. Her short hair was partially pulled back into a braid, token rose resting at the back of her head.

One of Konan’s hands settled at Kushina’s waist, the other raising their still linked hands into the air. Kushina straightened instantly, focus pinpointed on the sudden heat from her touch, felt even through the dual layers of fabric. She locked eyes with the kunoichi before her. After a short moment to adjust, she came back to herself. She raised her free hand to Konan’s shoulder and allowed the other to lead, for now. The music swelled. The duo began to dance, neither willing to break their gaze first.

"Thank you.” She replied lowly. “You seem tired, did you just arrive?"

Konan huffed in what Kushina assumed was amusement. "A few hours ago. I was running a few errands, unfortunately, and wasn't able to greet you when you arrived. Are you enjoying your visit to the Land of Tea?"

There really wasn’t much to say, she had mostly spent time inside the palace and surrounding compound. Not many sights to see there, besides -

"It's... damp."

Konan nodded sympathetically. "All part of the charm."

The pair continued to waltz slowly, deftly avoiding increasingly intoxicated civilians and the more incompetant shinobi present.

"Where's your little shadow, anyway?” Kushina asked, tone laced with what she considered the appropriate amount of bitterness. “In the kitchens, planning to poison the Wind Daimyo?”

It was one of their first encounters where Konan discovered her soon-to-be student, long before Kushina had become Hokage. Kushina still feels the guilt, the uncertainty of her decision to put an impressionable, powerful young boy within range of Konan and her unknown goals. 

She had little choice, realistically. She was ostracized and reviled following the Kyuubi attack and Minato’s death, not an ally beside her save Kakashi and Mikoto. Konan was in the right place at the right time. Both kunoichi had been poking around where they didn’t belong, investigating what certain powerful men in Konoha would have liked to keep hidden. The boy they discovered wouldn’t have survived without medical care. Medical care he couldn’t receive in Konoha without instantly becoming weaponized for the _good of the village_.

Something Kushina was intimately familiar with.

So, Kushina allowed herself to be convinced, allowed herself to be tricked into allowing Konan to take the boy. His usefulness would guarantee his safety. In the moment, a wildcard like Konan was the more appealing bet for the child than his certain suffering in the hands of Konoha. 

In the years since, Kushina often found herself wondering what Tenzo would have been like, had he remained a Konoha shinobi.

“Where’s yours?” Konan counters easily. “Lurking around our rooms, waiting for the opportunity to pin the latest conspiracy on your favorite Ame representative?"

"Kakashi is in Konoha, actually.” Honesty comes easily, for once. “Someone has to keep it from total systematic collapse while I'm away."

"Oh? You're by yourself, then? Interesting information for the Hokage to freely reveal."

Kushina gave a loud, surprised laugh that visibly startled a few of the other guests."Please, as if I can't take care of myself.”

Kushina felt Konan’s shrug. 

“Besides,” Kushina continued, “you, certainly, have never been a real threat."

It was with no small sense of satisfaction that Kushina felt Konan’s pace stutter, pause. The music reached another crescendo, noise surrounding the pair and drowning out their surroundings.

"Is that so?" Konan pulled her closer, grip on her hand tightening subtly.

Kushina merely shot her a closed-mouth smile in return, eyes closing briefly, without fear.

"Anyway,” Kushina waved away her comment with the hand on Konan’s shoulder. Kushina’s fingers brushed her throat for a short moment, unintentionally. “I'm not alone. Konoha is far too paranoid to allow that."

Konan relaxed slightly, yet kept Kushina close. She could feel eyes following them as they continued their now intimate little dance. The new observers were likely shinobi, given that the civilians they whirled by were preoccupied with their own intimate moments.

"Tell me, is it someone I know?"

Kushina scoffed. "Don't you know every one of my shinobi?"

"Cute.” Konan’s lips quirked. Kushina figured that was as close as she’d ever get to a genuine smile. “Try me and find out."

"Uchiha Shisui." Both of her escorts were registered as official guests, anyway.

"Oh, the ANBU boy?"

Oh, please.

"Love,” Kushina started patiently, “while I have the utmost faith in your intel network, even you don't know the identities of my ANBU.”

Konan inclined her head, surrendering the point. "Worth a shot. Unusual for an Uchiha to work outside the police force, isn't it?"

"So you say." 

"The Kyuubi jinchuuriki and a prodigy Uchiha, traveling together to represent Konoha?” Konan lowered her voice to a near whisper. Her lips were nearly touching Kushina’s cheek as she spoke. She blatantly used the excuse of spinning Kushina away from colliding with another couple to conceal her words from onlookers. Kushina would have grudgingly appreciated the thought, if she had time to consider anything beyond the sudden racing of her heart. “If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were setting up a nice little display of power. Superiority."

"It's not as if I can change my nature, love.” Kushina very pointedly ignored how close they still were. She was absolutely not going to think about the breath she could feel brushing her uncovered neck. “As Hokage, I must be present."

Konan pulled away to a more… appropriate distance.

"Of course, forgive me."

Kushina took the moment of reprieve to reorient herself. She blinked a few times, clearing her head, and scanned the room surrounding her. Konan seemed content to lead her around the floor once more as she composed herself. There were still several pairs dancing with them, thankfully, although the numbers had started to dwindle. Many had apparently grown tired and returned to more comfortable seating, or left for the night altogether. More remained gathered in small groups on the fringes of the room, holding ridiculously small portions of food and sipping glasses of wine. Anyone looking at Kushina had the good sense to look away quickly. Anyone except, it would seem, a knowing red-eyed stare lurking beside the nearby window. Moonlight streamed in, illuminating the face of Kushina’s very irritated escort.

Ah, fuck. She’ll catch hell for this later.

"Is that the Uchiha?" Konan noticed as well.

"No." 

Konan’s hand on her waist shifted, thumb stroking once before settling once more. "Don't clam up on me now, Hokage-sama."

"How could it possibly serve you to know?" Kushina frowned in irritation.

"I'm a concerned sensei.” Konan said with utmost seriousness. “It would be good for Tenzo to meet more friends his age."

Kushina couldn’t help herself. She laughed, and gave Konan some ground. "Her name is Kurenai. And, out of sympathy for your student, I _will_ give you one piece of advice."

"Please do." 

The music was reaching an end, Kushina could tell. One of the musicians had apparently given up, not betting on a group mostly full of drunk officials and nobles would care at this point. He was probably right.

Regardless, they had precious few seconds to themselves.

"Better to keep him away from Kurenai, than Shisui. She'll eat him alive." Kushina said seriously. Kushina knew that Kakashi and Tenzo had their own sort of dance, the several times they’d met on missions since she became Hokage. Yet Kakashi was, much to his displeasure, still in Konoha. An encounter with Shisui probably wouldn’t end in too much bloodshed, but Kurenai? Kurenai had only one setting, and that was full blown destruction. 

Her little student was _so cute_ , she couldn’t be prouder.

"I'll keep that in mind.” Konan assured her. The final note of the night reverberated throughout the hall, to enthusiastic applause. “Always a pleasure to see you, Kushina."

“And you.” Kushina inclined her head.

Konan stepped back and Kushina moved to leave. She paused when Konan retained her grip on Kushina’s hand. Kushina turned back to face her and Konan raised her hand to her lips, kissed her knuckles gently.

"I'm sure I'll see you later this evening." Konan murmured with a hint of a smile, before leaving Kushina, frozen in the middle of the hall.


End file.
